Do you work with any specific deities as part of your practice? Why, or why not?
Get a brew and sit down…this might be a long one!
As much as I wasn’t “raised Christian,” I was raised Christian. I’ve already rambled about my issues with Christianity here but to simplify; I tried really hard to believe. Really hard. I begged for signs, I spoke to vicars, I read the bible. I spent some time believing that I was somehow at fault because I didn’t believe and I spent a lot of time angry at the Christian god for never, ever showing me love.
Then I found Wicca (because that was what all the books were about in the 00s) and I felt it. I felt that connection. It felt like coming home. I felt all the things I was supposed to feel at church or in prayer. What I didn’t really buy into was deity; I saw god and goddess more as a representation of energies than personified deity. That worked fine during my teens but as I learned more about Wicca, paganism and witchcraft I made a conscious decision that I was not interested in anything to do with deity.
And so it was for the first decade and a bit of my path and I was very happy. Cue my Saturn return!
Oh baby was my Saturn return A Thing. We’re talking not A Thing but The Thing. Everything shifted and personified deity came a-knocking. A deity who I had no prior knowledge of (aside from possibly being mentioned in one of the Greek myth books I had as a kit.) For a year I chose to ignore it; I didn’t want it, I didn’t even want to want it but eventually I reasoned that I could test the waters and if it wasn’t for me, I didn’t have to commit to anything or continue with anything.
So in September 2018 I opened the door to Hecate and it was a revelation, not just spiritually but in so many ways. The connection with her was so completely different to the lack of connection with the Christian god, so much so that I have now worked through a lot of the anger I felt towards him. Last year, after a long courtship, I dedicated to her and I am endlessly grateful that she came into my life.
While I still see personified deity as universal energy formed into something we as humans can understand, I don’t believe that makes the relationship any different. For me, Hecate herself has power because of the millions of people across time and the world who have worshiped her. Her identity itself has been charged by every ritual or prayer or moment of belief ever bestowed on her, but she is also a facet of a greater energy.
I would really love to hear your beliefs and thoughts around deity.