eating galette

Normal: word of the week

MochaNever, not ever, did I think I would be using normal as my word of the week! Not even as a word of the day, or the hour! And yet, since changing my name, I have felt that. I have felt good. Happy. ‘Normal.’

Let’s not get into a discussion about what normal even means, and let’s just agree that I have never been it. My anxiety held me back from any kind of normality, especially when it came to social interaction. My depression, bipolar, stopped me feeling joy a lot of the time. But now I feel it, joy, happiness, and it is amazing. And I feel it consistently; for two weeks!

On Thursday I felt accepted at my re-naming party, I socialised with ease and enjoyed myself. It was a revelation. Since then I have walked around a local town, alone, and felt confident doing so. I have been back to bowling, attended a friend’s barbecue complete with people I’d never met before, and had a good time at the expat lunch bunch despite it being incredibly loud.

I feel free. I feel strong. I feel happy with myself, and in myself.

Part of the transformation, I’m sure, has to do with my therapist, she has been, and continues to be, incredible. She empowers me. But this, this normality, this has come from within.

My journal entries are filled with happiness and good stuff now. For two whole weeks I have been easily writing my 3 good things, not sitting for minutes on end desperately searching for something. My self-care is pretty on point too; I am regularly ticking off my 5 self-care ‘jobs’ and only skipping odd ones occasionally, and I’m sleeping well, so I don’t think this is hypomania. I’m going to bed later, but getting about 8 to 9 hours and feeling good for the whole day. I no longer collapse into bed when the clock strikes 8pm!

So, here’s to normal! Here’s to being different, but in a functional way! Here’s to embracing myself, my quirks and loving all of me. Here’s to confidence and long may it continue!

The Reading Residence

6 comments

  1. Kim Carberry

    Ahh! I love this! I am so glad you are feeling so happy! It sounds like you are doing so well at getting out and about and are living life to it’s fullest! I am so pleased for you! xxx

  2. Sheri

    This is so wonderful!

  3. Mummyhereandthere

    It us great you feel accepted and loved. I am pleased you are in a better place and it makes all the different when you have a therapist who empowers you. You should positive and here is to another week of continuation 🙂 X #wotw

  4. The Reading Residence

    Wonderful word and it’s so great to hear how well you are doing. I read the whole post with a smile on my face, go you! Thanks for sharing with #WotW x

  5. Jane - Our Little Escapades

    I love this, such a positive post. I like the sounds of the self care jobs I think this is something I need to do. I love your new name too #WotW

  6. tracey at Mummyshire

    Normal can be a very under-rated word, and you’ve managed to make normal something so positive
    Glad your week has continued to be so positive following last week’s party!
    Have a good week
    #WoTW

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