Earlier this week I shared how Pokemon Go was helping me beat my anxiety, well the battle has continued. Today I moved from walking around my small, local town alone to a bigger town. Officially it’s a city, but it’s not that big, however it is big for me, and it was busy.
My Step-Dad dropped me off at the top of public gardens there and then drove down to wait for me at the bottom. I was very anxious and I don’t think I would have done the walk if I hadn’t had Pokemon Go as a distraction. A huge part of me didn’t want to get out of the car, and while I walked I barely looked up from my phone.
The public gardens is a Pokestop hot spot, there are lures on most of the Pokestops, and as a result there are a large amount of people, phones in hand, chilling on the grass and catching Pokemon. It was also a Saturday, in school holidays, so more people than usual there too I guess.
However, despite my anxiety, I got out of the car and walked through the gardens, down to the bottom, past people, so many people, and safely arrived at the car about 15 or 20 minutes later, emotionally drained.
I caught some new Pokemon and levelled up, along with hitting a bunch of Pokestops and getting some goodies. It was an odd feeling really; enjoying playing the game but at the same time being so conscious of the people around and being alone and feeling so anxious.
I wish I could have sat on the grass in the gardens and played longer. I wish I could have said hi to some of the other players. I wish I could have wandered around for a little longer. But the fact is that I did it. I was anxious and I still did it, and it is a huge step for me.