Rainbow Hair

Call me Trinity

Trinity fairy necklaceI wrote about being in between names, identities, a week or so ago, a follow up from my confusion on the topic. Well, at this moment in time, I want you to call me Trinity.

I’m still not 100% sure that I will change my name at all, or, if I do, what to, but I wont know what ‘fits’ without trying it on properly.

To me Trinity sounds strong, and along with that I feel like it embraces my multifaceted personality. I know we all have different parts to our personality, but I don’t feel that Olivia really recognises any of mine.

I have long felt very disconnected from my birth name, I remember as a child pretending I was called Naomi. Now I’m older and going through a process of self-discovery I feel even more disconnected from it, it doesn’t fit me, it doesn’t sit right, and I just dislike it in general.

I have noticed on several occasions recently, people mentioning an Olivia they know, or one featuring in the news or whatever and I have a really visceral reaction to it now. I almost recoil as I realise how far apart myself and that name have become. It’s hard to explain and probably makes no sense, but that’s just how it is.

After much soul searching, Googling names, talking to my parents, specifically my Mum, and chats with friends too, I have decided to take the plunge and try on Trinity officially. It feels more like me, it feels right, natural, a similar feeling to when I first discovered Paganism and Wicca and began carving my spiritual path.

I was getting very nervous and overthinking the situation; what people will think and say, whether it’s a sensible decision, whether it’s me or my illness, what if I try it and don’t like it? And then the Universe went from quiet whispering to outright yelling at me to go with my gut, to trust myself, and to do it!

There were many synchronistic events which led me to this point, specifically over the past few days, but the main one was receiving a newsletter I subscribe to which began with the Nelson Mandela quote,

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears”

So here we go, into a new chapter. I’m embracing my hopes and dreams, no longer letting the fear hold me back and stop me fighting to create the future I want. I will be the person I want to be, and embracing Trinity is one step in that direction.

5 comments

  1. Sheri

    What a wonderfully hopeful post! <3

  2. Lisa

    I love the idea of changing your name! I too have always felt a little disconnected from my name and have wanted to change mine but have always worried what people would think. Good for you for just going ahead and doing it! I love Trinity. 🙂

    1. Mrs TeePot

      Thanks for your support, sorry that you also feel disconnected from your name. It’s a tough feeling. I think it’s so important to do what makes YOU happy, living for other people is often the easy option but leads to us being so unhappy. At least that’s my thoughts. I do still worry what people will think, but then I remember how much happier I feel and think “sod them!”

  3. Hayley McLean

    Great name, I think it suits you. Its a brave move to change your birth name, if you feel disconnected from it then why not? names are a very important thing, it makes sense to choose one for ourselves that we feel represents us.

    1. Mrs TeePot

      Thank you! They are so important because they do represent us, I’m still taking it slowly, but I do see a legal name change in my future.

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