Nose stud selfie

I’ve written before about how, now I’m in my mid/late twenties, I’m finding, or even creating, my identity but, having just had my nose pierced, I thought I’d share some thoughts on it for Prose for Thought, Word of the Week, Share the Joy & Happy Days.

For over twenty years I hid myself behind a veil of normal. Pretending to fit in. Scared of judgement.

Twenty years, more than, I faked it.

“Fake it ’til you make it,” that’s what they say. Only I never made it.

Until I realised I didn’t want to make it, not like that. Until I realised that I, me, was just perfect as I was.

With my quirks, my issues, my slightly alternative beliefs and desires. Me, all of me, is perfect, just as I was meant to be.

Then it was time to create myself. To show my personality through my look, to change my style to suit the real me. Time to stop pretending to care about fashion or celebrities. To dive into myself and discover what I wanted and who I was.

Nose stud selfieSo here I am, 10 piercings later, slowly emerging from my chrysalis and becoming the woman I was born to be. Slowly unpicking what is society’s idea of what I should be, and what I want to be.

I still want to be loved, married, a mother. But most of all, I want to be me, and I want to be happy being me.

And the weirdest thing? I feel more confident with my piercings. Even knowing that I stand out more, that I’m open to judgement and mocking, I love them, the are an outward representation of my personality and my quirks. They give me joy.

I feel, as my outward identity is created and falls more and more into line with my inner self, the feeling that I can beat my anxiety too. The feeling that, even though it is a big demon, a strong and well armed enemy, soon I will defeat it, and then I can be myself completely.

I know, as I grow into my true self, that I will win. I can see a future where I go out alone, unafraid, and that is the power of identity.

Prose for Thought
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Share the Joy linky at TheJoyChaser.com

Comments

  1. This is an empowering read, so good to hear that you feel you’re finding your true identity. It’s important to feel comfortable in your own skin, and it sounds like you’re making moves towards that x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

  2. How inspiring that you are able to finally be true to yourself. I feel like now in my mid 30’s I am just figuring out what I want to do with my life finally being me #Prose4T

  3. I think the fake it til you make it advice holds, it’s just knowing what/where/who you want to be that’s tricky – agree with Kim we are all different and that’s a good thing, good luck 🙂 #wotw

  4. Individuality has to be one of the most important things in life. I echo Kim’s sentiments. Well done for standing up for what you believe in. You sound like you are getting stronger. I think your nose piercing really suits you. I love how it has become your strength and given you confidence 🙂 Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought xx

  5. Powerful stuff and a post that I can identify with – I had my nose pierced last year after years of wanting it done. I was also hiding behind something (my job at the time meant I couldn’t have a facial piercing) and I think you’re right. It does give you a certain something more – confidence, self esteem. I’m really not sure but whatever it is, long may it continue! Oh and I’ve also recently discovered bright, statement-making lippy which I’ve realised I should’ve started wearing years ago too! 😉 #prose4t

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