afraid

The Prompt: Fear

If there was ever a prompt that described me, this is probably it! So I best get writing on it, huh?!

My life is pretty much ruled by fear thanks to my anxiety disorder. Sure I have other emotional regulation issues too, but I honestly feel that, if my anxiety were removed, my life would be inordinately better.

The most noticeable side of my anxiety is my social anxiety; I’m not good at being around people, especially not when I’m alone. But I also have general anxiety, which is harder to explain, because it affects everything. It creates anxiety around absolutely everything from the smallest things like picking up a glass and worrying to a stupid degree I will drop it/squeeze it too hard/throw it for no reason, to the big things like the future and worrying what I will do when my parents are no longer here. Every thought is tinged with anxiety, sometimes with panic, it is exhausting.

Fear

Hide me. Someone, please, hide me.
Hide me from the things that come to get me.
The things that come in the night,
And in the day,
That creep, that fly, that attack,
Wild and evil, dark and cruel.

Rescue me. Someone, please, rescue me.
Rescue me from the darkness that looms so near.
That waits for any weakness,
Just a chink,
And in it will swoop,
Deep into my soul, into my being,
Tearing, ripping, destroying.

Save me. Someone, please, save me.
Save me from the fear inside me that taints every thought.
That overtakes everything,
That defines me,
Ruining my whole life,
Seeping into every piece of me,
Creating terror, panic, dread.

Save me. Someone, please, save me.
Save me from myself.
afraid

mumturnedmom

6 comments

  1. Steve

    Very good post Liv. Great poem. I suffer from anxiety to a certain extent, but admittedly not as bad as you. I really feel for you. Must be awful.
    BTW, absolutely love the photo. Very thought provoking.

  2. Sophie Lovett

    Anxiety is so debilitating. I’ve suffered from it to varying degrees for many years, and do sometimes wonder how different my life would be if I wasn’t so afraid! I think I’ve generally got better at dealing with it over the years, but I can still very much identify with this post x

  3. Lisa from Lisa's Life

    Superb poem. The glass/squeezing too hard part of your anxiety rang a little too true to me. Why can’t we only have totally rational anxiety?! X

  4. mummyshambles

    Yep, anxiety is debilitating alright. I live with it on a daily basis. With age has come a kind of acceptance of the way I am and the way I react to the world. I don’t fight it so much these days but try to work with it, if that makes sense.
    Excellent post! X

  5. Sara | mumturnedmom

    Brilliant poem, the very last line is so powerful. I wish I had some words of wisdom, I become anxious in specific situations, but not in a general way, I can’t imagine how difficult that must be x Thank you for sharing with #ThePrompt x

  6. tracey at mummyshire

    I felt your fear and pain in this piece of writing; it must be so difficult to have that disabling emotion that can hold you back. I hope you can somehow find ways to harness these fears to a more positive outcome for you.
    #ThePrompt

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