Dear 29 year old virgin,
Firstly, it’s probably not wise to send messages to women telling them that you’re a virgin right up front, it’s a bit off putting. Secondly, when they reply, purposely ignoring that part of your message, it’s probably not a good plan to tell them you want to experience ‘the pleasures of the flesh.’
It might be time to rethink your dating strategy.
Dear People on dating websites,
READ MY SODDING PROFILE!
I am not interested in your small penis, nor am I ‘uptight’ for not wanting sex on a first date! I am looking for love, a long-term, serious relationship, and I am completely upfront about that fact.
Please cease and desist with your messages when you only want me for a fling.
That chick with the profile you haven’t read.
Don’t be disheartened by the fact all anyone seems to want nowadays is sex. Keep looking. ‘The one’ is out there, and they’re probably wondering where the hell you are too.