It grates on every single nerve, affects my sanity.
You worry for my health & life, my prospects may be few,
But many see beyond my size, I wish one of them was you.
I know you feel that with less weight, less digits on my labels,
That I would find that loving one with whom I could be stable.
But that is your perspective and there are many who
Would feel lucky to have me and do not hold your view.
So while I know you love me, and while I know I’m big,
I would rather you support me while for myself I dig.
My head is still not happy, I still have many qualms,
What I need most is your love, the feeling of your arms.
And maybe you’ll be proved right, maybe one day I’ll see
That my size is holding me back more than my anxiety.
But for now please try to realise, that while all you see is fat,
I am in fact a person, with feelings and with that
Comes my own perspective, ‘cos yes, I see it too,
I stare into the mirror, and cry because I have not a clue.
I do not know how to stop it, I’m not strong enough right now
To take on my inner demons in a battle, but this I will vow;
To try to figure out myself just where the problem lies,
And to fight it when I’m ready, smack it right between the eyes.
But, as I say, right now, is really not the time,
So will you please bear with me, while my own mountain I climb.