beach selfie

On Fat Shaming

This post is inspired by WitWitWoo’s posts about her wearing a bikini and the fat shaming brigade. I’ll let you go have a nose at those fabulous posts while I make a cuppa…

I’m overweight. By quite a lot. I’m not proud of that fact, but that’s how it is right now. I’m not healthy with it, I’m just a girl who eats too much and doesn’t exercise. That said, that doesn’t give anyone the right to start fat shaming.

At the end of her fat shaming brigade post, Kate asked the writers among us to write about our thoughts on fat shaming. I knew, as a size 18-20 and someone with little body confidence, it was a topic I needed to cover. I needed to face my own fat shaming habits and try and stop it.

I wasn’t always big, in fact it’s a fairly recent occurrence, I was a size 12 for ages but I always felt like a big girl, the ugly duckling of my friendship groups, the fat one. I have never felt like a slim person and have always had a sweet tooth. Having always felt fat has, I’m sure, affected my body confidence and changed what I saw in the mirror. I never saw a healthy, good looking girl/woman, always a fat, ugly one.

As you can no doubt see from my wording, I am probably my own worst critic, fat shaming myself, but I would desperately love for that to change. I read several blogs written by plus size women who encourage wearing whatever you want and loving yourself as you are and I try not to let my size limit my clothing choices, but it’s hard. I wouldn’t wear a bikini nowdays, I tend to wear leggings a lot to hide the tops of my legs and go for flowing, tent like, tops in an effort to hide my belly.

It’s a sad state of affairs really, I think it’s so wrong when people are slated for their size, big or small, and yet I do it to myself daily. I know it’s important that I get healthy but I’m not sure I will be able to drop the weight I’ve put on so it’s really important that I stop my fat shaming ways and start showing my body some love, treating it as I would a friend and not bullying it.

Because that’s what fat shaming is, bullying, and that is never ok, and yet society seems to think that bullying fatties is alright still, it’s because we’re worried about their health, say those who slate them. But it’s not really, is it, it’s about it not being considered attractive at the moment, or being threatened by someone who has confidence in their body. In Kate’s piece she shares a photo of her in a bikini, she looks stunning, and I think some people are threatened by that, scared that her embracing her body somehow devalues their own bodies.

We desperately need a move towards a society where fat shaming, and thin shaming, in fact body shaming in general, is not accepted. We need a society where we lift people up and are secure doing so because we realise that it doesn’t diminish us. It’s like that candle quote ;

Blowing out someone else’s candle does not make yours shine any brighter

I’ll probably never be slim again, but I can be healthy and fat, I know I can, I just need to work on it harder. Healthy is what is important to me and that can’t be judged by size.

4 comments

  1. Mum Reinvented

    Love this (not that I like you feeling like crap about yourself), it has pretty much explained how I feel about myself and felt all those years ago at school, when as a healthy size 12, I was always the biggest among my peers. I grew up thinking I was fat, never really liking what I saw in the mirror because I was comparing myself to them all the time. Now I really am fat.

    I too saw Kate’s post and thought blimey I’d never have the guts to wear a bikini these days, yet seeing her in a bikini at probably a dress size or two smaller than I am, doesn’t repulse me at all, so why would it have that effect if I did it. I admire her confidence, it should be normal to just throw on a bikini and not give a toss what people at the beach or on the pool think, but I don’t. I’m surrounded by women at the local beaches who wear bikinis no matter what their size and they certainly aren’t hiding in a maxi dress sweating their arse off instead of not caring what everyone else thinks and letting it all hang out. Infact I probably draw more attention to myself by covering up.

    We’re always our own worst enemies when it comes to body issues. I just hope that I don’t end up projecting my crap onto my daughter. I want her to feel beautiful, no matter what size she is.

    Here’s hoping we can both lose a bit of weight, feel healthy and feel more confident in ourselves 😉 x

    1. Mrs TeePot

      It is so hard to be self confident nowadays isn’t it though, there’s so much in the world that is fighting to make us feel bad about ourselves, it sucks.
      I really hope that the next generation grow up sticking 2 fingers up to the beauty industry and accept how they look and love themselves anyway.

  2. Franglaise Mummy

    Beautifully written and expressed – I read Kate’s post with the bikini shot and thought she looked fab. I think it can be hard to see what others see when we look in the mirror, especially if we’re highly self-critical. I hope Kate’s post has helped you to push yourself up instead of down x

    1. Mrs TeePot

      Thank you, she does look amazing doesn’t she.
      I’m hoping that in time I’ll learn to lift myself up, no matter what my size, but it’s so hard.

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