But even when I listened carefully

I feel that my piece this week needs a little intro, so here we are. I’m struggling a little with my Borderline Personality Disorder at the moment, a mental illness that can comprise of an ‘insecure sense of self’ among other things. I saw the prompt and knew I had to try and write about it from a borderline perspective. I hope it makes some sense.

So many voices. Shouting, whispering, telling me who I am, who I should be. Different people, everywhere, all so sure of themselves, sure of their own voices, sure of what my voice should be. But even when I listened carefully I could not make out my own voice. Maybe it was too quiet, or maybe I just didn’t recognise it. Maybe it was saying nothing because it had nothing to say. Maybe one day I will be sure of my own voice too, maybe one day I will shout loud because I will know who I am. But not today.


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