On False Advertising

2013-06-08 18.53.28I wear make-up, padded, push up bras, and I dye my hair. I try to make the most of myself when I’m out and about so people who see me see the best me I can be. But lately I’ve been wondering is this a form of false advertising. Now I’m on the dating scene I find myself pondering if it’s wrong to put yourself out there as one person when at home you’re chilling in your onesie with skin like a teenager?

See, when I whip off the make-up I look awful, but with my trusty slap on I can pass as an ok looking human being. So is it wrong for me to go on dates looking one way when, should things progress, they will eventually have to see me looking shocking?

I do worry that if I start out on a relationship with someone that, when they finally see the real me, physically speaking, they’ll run a mile and wont be seen for dust. I worry that they will turn on me, saying they fell for a well preened lady, one who looked good, with bigger, firmer breasts. But I can’t be that girl all the time, I need a break! And because of that I wonder, maybe I should go on dates make-up free, in my casual clothes, not making an effort. Forewarned is forearmed, so they say. At least then they would know what they were getting into!

What do you think? Is a bit of false advertising when dating ok, or should you let the real you out immediately?

 

10 comments

  1. Sheri

    I see nothing wrong with looking your best when going on a first date. If that’s what makes you feel good, then by all means do it. If you’re only doing it to attract a mate, then it may not be a good idea, but if you’re doing it because you feel good when you do, I think that’s ok. There’s always going to come a time when you get more serious when maybe you could throw in a comment with a sense of humor about how you look when lounging around the house.

    When I was on JDate, there was a forum for members, and this was an oft-discussed issue. The men complained that women posted glamour shots or lied about their age/weight, the women said the same thing about the men (only they added height as well). I normally don’t wear makeup anymore, but I do when I go out someplace nice. I tried to look as “normal” as possible in my pictures on both JDate and eHarmony, but did wear minimal makeup. When I finally met Greg for lunch the first time, I wanted him to like me as I really am. My hair was long and a bit frizzy/curly, and I didn’t go to a huge effort to dress up, but then it was a casual place. I can’t remember whether or not I wore makeup, but I know I at least wore mascara. I’m a “what you see is what you get” kind of person. It’s the same way with my bipolar disorder, I think that’s one of the first things I told him about myself in our initial emails. I didn’t want someone to fall in love with me, then either see what I look like in the morning and run screaming from the house; nor did I want to have one of my agitated mania episodes without prior warning. I’ve always tried to look as nice as I can (I was raised by a society mum) but at 55, I just don’t like wearing much makeup anymore. Besides, after living in Arizona for so many years and having any makeup just melt off my face, I got used to not wearing foundation at all. I usually always at least wear mascara when I go out.

    A funny side note is that after I first met Greg and really liked him, I got a hair cut and something called a reverse weave. I have salt & pepper hair, and I used to get streaks of three different shades of brown added. The gray wasn’t completely covered, it was just lessened. That night on the phone, one of the things Greg said he liked about me was that I didn’t color my hair! Fortunately, he didn’t notice the next time I saw him, but I never did it again.

    1. Mrs TeePot

      Interesting. I’m balls out (so to speak) about my mental illness with people. I don’t want to scare them so try to ease them into it starting with “depression & anxiety” but I do think it’s super important to be totally yourself personality wise.
      All my dating site profile photos I have make-up on and have done my hair, I wouldn’t dare post a make-up free photo on there! lol!

      Lol, great story! Definitely an Oops moment there!

  2. Lisa

    I think it’s nice to make the effort on the first date or so and hopefully he will too but as things progress you need to be realistic and, more importantly, relaxed. That’s not to say turn up for a dinner date with no make-up and jogging bottoms but a compromise is best I think. If I ever can be bothered dating again then said gentleman will have to accept that my labrador was here first and I will, most of the time, be in jeans and a t-shirt with my hair in a ponytail, with or without the added glamour of a poo bag dangling from a pocket!

    I would assume he had read my profile and therefore know without me saying that I’m very much not always dressed up to the nines, but, sometimes, men need the obvious stating! 😉

    1. Mrs TeePot

      Yea I think you’re right, that as time passes you go on more casual dates so you gradually become more natural.
      Lol, poo bags and the latest trend! 😉

  3. TK

    I wouldn’t look at it as ‘false advertising’ because isn’t advertising about portraying the best of something? All you’re doing is showing your best side and there’s nothing wrong with that! We’re all guilty of this in a way. Here from #PoCoLo.

    1. Mrs TeePot

      That’s a really good point, thanks! And thanks for stopping by!

  4. Steve

    I think there’s a world of difference between false advertising and wanting to look your best. If you remember the gargle liquid advert (the one where the woman had false everything and turned from swan to ugly duck) a bit of “slap” is ok so is push up bras . . .so is dying ya hair as every bloke expects the hair to be dyed. It’s more important that you are comfortable and happy wearing what you wear and not feeling shit (like when i wear a suit and stuff – feel i like i’m done up like a dogs dinner)

    Steve
    xxxxxxxxxx

    1. Mrs TeePot

      Thanks. I see what you mean, I don’t think I’d feel at all comfortable without my make-up and stuff!

  5. Lilinha Espindula

    It’s not false advertisement at all – says the one that wears push-up bras and dyes her hair!
    I take it as you are looking after yourself and there is nothing wrong with that! We all like feeling pretty.
    Good luck with dating! 🙂 x

    1. Mrs TeePot

      Thanks for the reassurance 🙂 I think you’re right, I just worry too much! lol!
      And thanks for the good luck!

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