A riddle wrapped in an enigma

I’m a complex sort, or so I like to think anyway! Mainly because even I cannot make sense of myself sometimes. This has been brought to my attention recently by my new single state and just how much I’m loving it. I have posted before about how much I love relationships and I’m a relationship person and variations on that theme but I actually love being single. See, complex!

I feel so much sexier and happier when I’m single, I can dress however I like, I can go wherever I like, I can see whoever I like and no one can do a damned thing about it. I can dance around my living room at all hours and not be¬†embarrassed, I skip around the house rather than walk, I have a bounce in my step, I have a smile on my face all the time, so why the hell do I think I’m so happy in relationships? When I’m with someone I eat more and laugh less, it stunts my creativity and I’m generally just not myself. Even the girls at work have commented on how much chirpier I am, how much better I look, I got wolf whistled when I walked into work the other day and told to stand by the window to draw in custom!

I can flirt when I’m single too, and boy do I love to flirt! Even better (prepare yourselves), I don’t have to have sex! (I hear you all gasping in shock!) Seriously though, it’s a good thing for me, I’m not a big fan of *ahem* “doing the nasty” (there may be another post in that!), I especially don’t like to have to pull out Oscar winning performances to avoid bruising egos. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the play beforehand and, as I say, I love flirting, but if I know I have to have sex at the end of it it totally turns me off. So roll on the shameless flirting with anyone who passes my way!

Not only that, everything runs properly! I can make plans that will always happen, I can see my friends as much as I want, I know what’s happening and when all of the time, everything’s organised! In fact relief has been washing over me for the past week as I realise just how uptight and stressed I’ve been. Yesterday I lay in my garden with my book, camera and baby girl in peace and quiet, totally alone, it was the best day I’ve had in a looong time. I was totally relaxed, totally at peace, totally happy.¬†Why am I so determined to be in a relationship and miss all this? Someone slap me and bring me to my senses!

Next time I get into a relationship someone please remind me of this post and how much I love my life on my own. *raises glass* here’s to freedom, and my continuing weight loss without dieting (had to throw that in!)


  1. copingwithdepression

    Hi – I'm exactly the same. It's like I'm a completely different person when I'm single – happier, more fun, I make an effort to go out with friends etc… Every relationship I've been in I seem to change as soon as it gets "serious" & become very withdrawn. Makes you wonder why we bother with these men eh?!

    1. livileah88

      really does, no wonder married women die sooner than single ones!

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