Note (2020): this does not reflect my current views on men, gender or relationships. I have a post about feminism and how my views have changed. I am leaving this post up as a reminder that people can learn and grow and change.
The emasculation of men is something I have always felt strongly about but after a late night (early morning) conversation with the delectable Dopey Dee has previously covered this topic from a different viewpoint) I have been spurred on to blog about the topic! It also follows on quite nicely from my 50s women post earlier this week, might as well get all the controversy out of the way!
I would like to prelude my rant by saying that when I use the term “real men”, “masculine” and so on I am not referring to abusive, controlling or thuggish men, I am referring to the traditional man; gentlemanly, charmingly chauvinistic, intelligent and ruggedly handsome. It is my opinion that the former type of man is not a man at all, but that’s another post.
Firstly, I like my men to be men, and I’m naturally submissive to them, so I’m biased. I like men who are ruggedly handsome, who can throw me about (in a good way 😉 ),who drink beer and eat raw red meat. Occasionally I want to have to demand that the rugby be turned off for “us” time and when I get out of line I want to be put back in my place. Masculinity is important to me. I want them to be the head of the household, decisive and did I mention ruggedly handsome?!
*pause for drooling*
It would appear, however, that this type of man is a dying breed, and dying fast. Suddenly, with all the PC nonsense going on, “masculine” has become a dirty word. Apparently nowadays women want skinny, well preened, spineless, pseudo-men who keep their balls in glass jars on the mantelpiece. I have a suggestion for you; go out with a woman! Do you honestly want to be in a bathroom battle with your boyfriend before a night out? I don’t understand the attraction to a man who wears as much make up as you, I really don’t get it.
Trying to get back on track though; what is wrong with a strong, confident man doing your DIY for you, paying for the dates you go on, saving you from spiders, wanting you to wear a pretty dress and treating you like a princess? Why does this offend so many people, specifically women, now? It is in no way implying the woman’s weakness or anything else, it is simply a polite thing to do to make the woman’s life a little easier. It shows respect and that you have been noticed and are important enough to warrant an action to show that.
I heard a quote somewhere, I fail to remember the quote exactly but it may well have been spoken by my other half, that went along the lines of “I open doors for women because of who I am, not because of who they are” and I completely agree; by opening a door a man is showing that he is self-less, caring and respectful of women. By being offended you are showing that you are selfish, judgemental and rude, that of course is just my opinion though, you could just be angry at all men because none of them show you any interest. *prepares for abuse*
My point, I think, is stop wasting your energy being offended that a man wants to help you and be thankful. Be thankful he’s not assaulting, raping or murdering you*, be thankful he’s not leering at you while yelling something distasteful about your assets, be thankful that he took some time our of his day to do something nice for you for no reason and give him a smile. It won’t kill you. (*Edit: I wrote this while very worked up! As a result a left the, now stricken, comment in, but I’m going to explain it more now! It was not meant to imply that it is a man’s right to rape,murder or assault you, but merely to point out that there are far worse things a man could be doing than opening a door for you.)
Moving on, as I seem to have gone slightly off topic, again! Although it does seem to be a feminist issue. Most men I speak to now say that they are confused about what women want from them, they can’t do right for doing wrong; If they look after themselves and try to be a “modern man” they get told they’re not manly enough, if they’re rough and ready they get told that they’re sexist, it’s a no win situation. I’m trying to avoid saying it but I can’t any longer: we’re different! Men and women are like chalk and cheese, and no one wants chalky flavoured cheese now, do they!
The swing back to macho men seems to be starting though, the reign of Russel Brand and co is, thankfully, coming to an end, but what do women really want? Do you even know yourselves? Have you now decided that real men are, in fact, the way forward or are you just waiting for them to grow their balls back so that you can castrate them again on your next power kick? Ladies, you need to make your minds up. If you want a man who is strong, defends his beliefs and works hard at his career then you need to be the kind of woman that supports him, cooks his dinner and doesn’t demand he check his balls at the door. I’m not advocating being a doormat with no opinions, I’m hardly the person to advocate that, I’m merely suggesting that if you continue to insist on stripping each man you meet of their masculinity then don’t be surprised when there’s no one to rescue you from the castle but you.