I was born into the wrong decade, I’ve been convinced of this for a while now but as I get older it gets worse! Before I get into this I’d like to add a disclaimer: no offence is intended, I am not a misogynist, I am just passionate and irritated!
I’m a big believer that a woman’s place is in the home, we’ve all seen the “How to be a good Wife” email from the 50s, I believe that. I have no problem with women that work, especially nowadays most women need to for financial reasons, but given the option I would stay home “playing house” and if I had to work it would be a “woman’s job”. I do not believe that it is possible to “have it all”, either home life or work will suffer and in my opinion it’s a woman’s duty to make the sacrifice. Women are, in most cases, better at housework, better at child rearing and better at all round emotional support and therefore designed for home-making. And do you know what? I am sick of defending that opinion!
If I wanted to go to uni and get a degree to go out and get a high flying job, everyone would be behind me. I would have endless amounts of support for being independent and strong and making the most of what feminist’s have fought for for years, but when I tell people that I want to go out and find a husband so that I can marry and be a housewife, I’m a disgrace. Apparently by making a choice that goes against conventional opinion I am putting feminism back 50 years. Go figure!
Now I’m no expert, but I thought the suffragettes fought for women to have the right to choose? I was unaware that all the bra burning and such like was so that women had to work, had to be good at DIY and had to be a misandrist. So If I have the right to choose, why am I being told that wanting to live like a 50s housewife is wrong? Are modern women now threatened by real women? Do their slowly evolving balls ache slightly when they see what they gave up to have their powerful career?
If you want to have a career, great, I hope it fulfils you, I really do, but don’t come crying to me when you get symptoms of the menopause and suddenly realise that you want children. You made the choice, live with it. Don’t come running when no man will touch you because you’re so self-centred and career focussed that you don’t have time to cook him a nice dinner. And don’t tell me that I must be bored, lonely and unfulfilled being stuck in the house with just children for company. Stop moaning about the sacrifices you had to make to be successful, men have been doing it for years; missing out on their children’s lives to forge a career. See, not just women who were forced into a box in the past, is it! It is not better to be a man, they do not have it easier, they have it different.
All I want is for when I respond to people telling them my dreams and ambitions is for them to nod and be supportive, as I am with theirs. You can live your life how you want but I will continue to hold my traditional beliefs and I should not be judged for it. When I choose to teach my daughters cooking and cleaning while my sons play football and rugby it is not for you to gossip and say how sexist I am, I am not sexist. I revel in the differences between men and women, I believe they should be embraced and celebrated, that is not sexism. When I choose to welcome you to the neighbourhood with a basket of home made muffins, Bree Van DeKamp style, it is not for you to assume that I have been forced into that way of life by a man. And when I choose to put my husband above myself it is not for you to tell me that I am encouraging men to treat women as slaves and/or objects.
This is my life. These are my opinions, I do not ask you to agree but I do ask you to accept them.
When I am married I will be a 50’s housewife, and that is my choice.
This post is for the Writing Workshop I chose prompt number 3: Tell me about a side to yourself that makes you feel a little old fashioned.