I’m living in the 50s

I was born into the wrong decade, I’ve been convinced of this for a while now but as I get older it gets worse! Before I get into this I’d like to add a disclaimer: no offence is intended, I am not a misogynist, I am just passionate and irritated!

I’m a big believer that a woman’s place is in the home, we’ve all seen the “How to be a good Wife” email from the 50s, I believe that. I have no problem with50s cook women that work, especially nowadays most women need to for financial reasons, but given the option I would stay home “playing house” and if I had to work it would be a “woman’s job”. I do not believe that it is possible to “have it all”, either home life or work will suffer and in my opinion it’s a woman’s duty to make the sacrifice. Women are, in most cases, better at housework, better at child rearing and better at all round emotional support and therefore designed for home-making. And do you know what? I am sick of defending that opinion!

(photo credit)

If I wanted to go to uni and get a degree to go out and get a high flying job, everyone would be behind me. I would have endless amounts of support for being independent and strong and making the most of what feminist’s have fought for for years, but when I tell people that I want to go out and find a husband so that I can marry and be a housewife, I’m a disgrace. Apparently by making a choice that goes against conventional opinion I am putting feminism back 50 years. Go figure!

Now I’m no expert, but I thought the suffragettes fought for women to have the right to choose? I was unaware that all the bra burning and such like was so that women had to work, had to be good at DIY and had to be a misandrist. So If I have the right to choose, why am I being told that wanting to live like a 50s housewife is wrong? Are modern women now threatened by real women? Do their slowly evolving balls ache slightly when they see what they gave up to have their powerful career?

If you want to have a career, great, I hope it fulfils you, I really do, but don’t come crying to me when you get symptoms of the menopause and suddenly realise that you want children. You made the choice, live with it. Don’t come running when no man will touch you because you’re so self-centred and career focussed that you don’t have time to cook him a nice dinner. And don’t tell me that I must be bored, lonely and unfulfilled being stuck in the house with just children for company. Stop moaning about the sacrifices you had to make to be successful, men have been doing it for years; missing out on their children’s lives to forge a career. See, not just women who were forced into a box in the past, is it! It is not better to be a man, they do not have it easier, they have it different.

All I want is for when I respond to people telling them my dreams and ambitions is for them to nod and be supportive, as I am with theirs. You can live your life how you want but I will continue to hold my traditional beliefs and I should not be judged for it. When I choose to teach my daughters cooking and cleaning while my sons play football and rugby it is not for you to gossip and say how sexist I am, I am not sexist. I revel in the differences between men and women, I believe they should be embraced and celebrated, that is not sexism. When I choose to welcome you to the neighbourhood with a basket of home made muffins, Bree Van DeKamp style, it is not for you to assume that I have been forced into that way of life by a man. And when I choose to put my husband above myself it is not for you to tell me that I am encouraging men to treat women as slaves and/or objects.

This is my life. These are my opinions, I do not ask you to agree but I do ask you to accept them.

When I am married I will be a 50’s housewife, and that is my choice.

(Photo credit)

This post is for the Writing Workshop I chose prompt number 3: Tell me about a side to yourself that makes you feel a little old fashioned.

34 comments

  1. Andy

    Some interesting points i can see your point of view. My mum must pretty unique she did both, the career and was a housewife, my mum and dad shared it. At one point my dad was the main bread winner, now its my mum as my dad is retiring this year.

  2. everyusernameitrieddidnotworkletsseeifthisonedoes

    i honestly think that the part where you said feminism is about choice is totally correct. I personally would not choose to become a housewife as i don’t think it would fulfil me, in the same you work would probably not fulfil you. As long as a person is not hurting anyone then how they live their life is their choice. I think if u wish to be a 50s housewife good for you, go for it n fuck what others think.

    1. www.bigalphy.wordpress.com

      Great post and very honest. Since I lost my job and my wife has gone back to full time education, the roles have reversed. I’m at home now, cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids. I’m trying to start a new business as well but I’m enjoying my time with the kids, (well mostly), it’s time I never got to spend with them when they were younger. Anyway, well done again on your honesty.

      1. PrincessL

        Thank you. Glad you’re enjoying yourself 🙂 Good luck with the business!

  3. Kim

    I love this!! I went to college and got a big degree and thought I’d work after I had kids. Ended up I stopped working even before I had kids! The homemaking/childrearing/caring part is what I’ve found I’m meant to do. Some of my friends are meant to be working moms. I’m not. I can’t do what they do, and they can’t do what I do. And yes, it’s supposed to be a choice, if we have the means for it to be one. Also, my husband seems to respect even more because of all the things I do for him to make his life easier ala’ the 50’s. Nothing say’s “I love you” quite like a crisp shirt, you know?

    1. PrincessL

      Glad you’re making it work! I absolutely love making the man I’m with’s life easier and doing all those things for him!

  4. Kim

    I love this!! I went to college and got a big degree and thought I’d work after I had kids. Ended up I stopped working even before I had kids! The homemaking/childrearing/caring part is what I’ve found I’m meant to do. Some of my friends are meant to be working moms. I’m not. I can’t do what they do, and they can’t do what I do. And yes, it’s supposed to be a choice, if we have the means for it to be one. Also, my husband seems to respect even more because of all the things I do for him to make his life easier ala’ the 50’s. Nothing say’s “I love you” quite like a crisp shirt, you know?

    1. PrincessL

      Glad you’re making it work! I absolutely love making the man I’m with’s life easier and doing all those things for him!

  5. kathleen

    I think that if it works for you-do it. I absolutely agree-I thought feminism was about making choices..I stay at home with my four, and yet by “some” feminist standards that is considered wrong…I think true feminism is about being able to make the choice. I admire your honesty..:)

    1. PrincessL

      Thanks, I agree, it should be about choice, as long as you’re happy then it’s fine 🙂

  6. kathleen

    I think that if it works for you-do it. I absolutely agree-I thought feminism was about making choices..I stay at home with my four, and yet by “some” feminist standards that is considered wrong…I think true feminism is about being able to make the choice. I admire your honesty..:)

    1. PrincessL

      Thanks, I agree, it should be about choice, as long as you’re happy then it’s fine 🙂

  7. Suzie @nowriggling

    Great post. I think I should have been born in the 1800’s so i might have been even more tied to the home. But you are right. I think it is all about having the choice to live the life you want to live. Unfortunately, we are very rarely lucky enough to get the chance.

    1. PrincessL

      I am starting to wonder if the 50s is too modern for me actually!

  8. Suzie @nowriggling

    Great post. I think I should have been born in the 1800’s so i might have been even more tied to the home. But you are right. I think it is all about having the choice to live the life you want to live. Unfortunately, we are very rarely lucky enough to get the chance.

    1. PrincessL

      I am starting to wonder if the 50s is too modern for me actually!

  9. life in a pink fibro

    I agree with you that everyone has the right to choose. I also agree that it’s time we all stopped being so judgmental of each other. I hope you get the 1950s life of your dreams. 🙂

    1. PrincessL

      That’s definitely the problem, the judgement, it seems we just can’t stop it!

      1. Autismkingandeye

        It is about choice, and choosing to stay at home (as I have done) is not wrong at all. I have the utmost admiration for any Mum that works outside the home, am a little bit in awe tbh because I know I couldn’t manage everything which my children being so young. Having said that, I have a part time job where I work from home, as long as the work is done they don’t mind if I do it in the middle of the night and I am loving having my toe in the workforce too, just on my terms! You go for what you want chick, that is what life is about. If you are happy then your future family will be happy, if you don’t look after yourself then how can you look after anyone else??!! Jen

        1. PrincessL

          Thanks hun!

          1. www.bigalphy.wordpress.com

            Great post and very honest. Since I lost my job and my wife has gone back to full time education, the roles have reversed. I’m at home now, cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids. I’m trying to start a new business as well but I’m enjoying my time with the kids, (well mostly), it’s time I never got to spend with them when they were younger. Anyway, well done again on your honesty.

            1. PrincessL

              Thank you. Glad you’re enjoying yourself 🙂 Good luck with the business!

  10. life in a pink fibro

    I agree with you that everyone has the right to choose. I also agree that it’s time we all stopped being so judgmental of each other. I hope you get the 1950s life of your dreams. 🙂

    1. PrincessL

      That’s definitely the problem, the judgement, it seems we just can’t stop it!

  11. Anonymous

    Great post and I completely agree, I have wanted to be a housewife and mother for as long as I can remember. Dreading the day I might have to go back to work (probably next year) for financial reasons – I don’t feel I can do both successfully and I feel I should be at home.

    1. Zarah Doyle

      Great post! I gave up career in August of this year to be sahm and haven’t looked back. Only thing that irritates the heck out of me is the “now your life is over your JUST a housewife” attitude! grrrrr

      1. PrincessL

        Oh yes, that drives me up the wall! “Don’t you want something MORE from your life?” so annoying!

    2. PrincessL

      aww *hugs* I hope you can find a way to stay at home rather than go back to work

  12. Anonymous

    Great post and I completely agree, I have wanted to be a housewife and mother for as long as I can remember. Dreading the day I might have to go back to work (probably next year) for financial reasons – I don’t feel I can do both successfully and I feel I should be at home.

    1. Zarah Doyle

      Great post! I gave up career in August of this year to be sahm and haven’t looked back. Only thing that irritates the heck out of me is the “now your life is over your JUST a housewife” attitude! grrrrr

      1. PrincessL

        Oh yes, that drives me up the wall! “Don’t you want something MORE from your life?” so annoying!

    2. PrincessL

      aww *hugs* I hope you can find a way to stay at home rather than go back to work

  13. Autismkingandeye

    It is about choice, and choosing to stay at home (as I have done) is not wrong at all. I have the utmost admiration for any Mum that works outside the home, am a little bit in awe tbh because I know I couldn’t manage everything which my children being so young. Having said that, I have a part time job where I work from home, as long as the work is done they don’t mind if I do it in the middle of the night and I am loving having my toe in the workforce too, just on my terms! You go for what you want chick, that is what life is about. If you are happy then your future family will be happy, if you don’t look after yourself then how can you look after anyone else??!! Jen

    1. PrincessL

      Thanks hun!

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